Home

Advertisement

Customize
About this Journal
Current Month
1234567
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
293031
Oct. 16th, 2006 @ 03:54 pm (no subject)
Wow so since my last entry a whole hell of a lot has changed drastically. For starters In July I started working at the City of Warren along with Metro Beach at the same time. I currently still work for the City of Warren and don't mind it a bit. I do miss everyone at Metro Beach though, going from seeing them everyday to barelly talking to them is a definate change I have to get used to every year. I do get to see them this saturday which i'm super excited about!!!!! I wasn't planning on going to school this semester just working full time but my parents ended up conviencing me to go to school so I could be kept on the insurance due to my many doctor trips last winter. So now I work and go to school full time lemme tell you its loads of fun. Needless to say you can either find me at work, doing hw and when I do have free time I'm sleeping. I will not give up my weekends so normally I spend them up at MSU with my bestest its away to just cut loose from the hectic week I live. My friends think I'm nuts and during the summer I will be working two jobs and going to school (not full time) so we'll see how that goes.
I'm planning on finishing my major up at Michigan State University and I'm planning on staying there too, hopefully. I'm at my third college in 2 years, do the math lol. I miss Ferris State so much its sicking, if i could go back i would definalty do so in a heart beat acctually i probually wouldn't have left. That decision was made at the time in my life where I thought it was correct and in a way it was the better decision. I'm trying to start a chapter of Alpha Sigma Tau up at state and if the main chapter approves it I will be the happiest I have ever been :)
I'm hanging out with all of my old friends again and it feels wonderful, I do miss some of the friends I had with eric but I still remain in contact with the ones who matter. Eric and I are NOT on speaking terms anymore too much has happened since which has caused a cratter of a whole in between us. I love having my friends back in my life full time now, no more fights. As of right now I'm just taking it slow, hanging out with friends as much as possiable and trying to juggle my very busy and ever changing life. I stopped going to Woodside which is extremely depressing, I continue to struggle with my spritual loss alot I'm getting better as everyday passes as I start to regain the relationship I once had. My friend Audry has been such a help in the spirtual department in my life thats for sure, she always is very reasuring that i'm not alone in this battle. Its even harder when I stopped going to church i just need to find the strength to face my fears and walk in their with out shame and guilt, its something I need to do for myself and no one should deny me of that even if they went there before I did.
About this Entry
hide what i have in my eyes
Jun. 26th, 2006 @ 07:06 pm (no subject)
I'm NOT Ready to Let You Go!!!!!!
About this Entry
hide what i have in my eyes
May. 20th, 2006 @ 04:48 pm (no subject)
First and Foremost I just want to say I had a MmmMmmazing time up at Erics cabin with Rachel and we caught tons of little fishies and Rachel is a champ and caught a huge Carp all by herself, definalty kick ass. The whole time up at the cabin was great...even though the whole boat fishing was completly boring b/c i didn't catch anything. 


So my Cheryl and I went to the coffee beanery a couple days ago, I ussually love the place because during the day its quiet and I just hang out, do hw, or hang out with friends. Cheryl was heading up to the U.P. so it was another good bye :( which was pretty darn crappy to even start out with. Needless to say the coffee beanery in the middle of the dang day when normal annoying kids are in school where they should be were invading the coffee shop being completly annoying and rude and loud and all of the above. To top off the expirence we ran into Alysiash, who never spoke a word to me in H.S. but was compeled to say Hi when "her" friends were not around. Other then the little kids and the annoyance of people i don't like the day was overall good. I got to hang out with Cheryl and see her before she left. Hope you got settled in alright up north. 


This pretty much brings me to the point of why i'm writting this.... In the past view months I have wittnessed people college age level jump back to elementry school level maturaity. I'm sorry I just don't understand why some people would think that people they ignored would be nice to them... excuse me, if you didn't talk to me in high school DON'T attempt to talk to me now, either at a store, on a college campus I'm sorry I wont be nice, I graduated for a reason, to never see these people again other then reunions. 
Another thing I can't stand is cliche's, "clubs", crew's, whatever people want to call them, come on didn't we stop doing that in elementry school..... or is that fad from the past coming back too. 
The way people act sometimes just blows me away. My family says I can be so critical and mean at times and yeah sure i think everyone is I'm just more than normal. I'm sorry that I can't stand the way human interaction is at times, the whole making fun of people, feeling like your better then other people and big ego's annoy the shit out of me, no one is better then anyone yeah some of us may have more friends more money better material things but in the end were all humans living on this earth trying to survive
About this Entry
hide what i have in my eyes
Apr. 28th, 2006 @ 08:00 am (no subject)
Last final and i'm finally done with my first year at college..WOAH tons of changes in one year crazy stuff, with in one year i've gone to 2 different schools still attending one of them but i don't know for how long most likly i'll transfer again. I've came to the fact that i HATE psychology just darn right hate it. I have a wonderful boyfriend for 9 months now and 3 more months it'll be a year can't wait... I've known what being a GREEK was all about and loved every second of it and miss it so much. I would definalty do it again and probually will.



SUMMER is coming!!!!!!!!!! I'm so estatic I can't wait for bon fires, parties, getting a tan, and of course whitypalooza its gonna be great this year.

That means work too but theres nothing wrong with that I get paid to hang out with my friends yeah I mean cleaning isn't top on my list but everything else is AOK and i even have a reason to like squirt zone now.... Eric comes and visits me on his million breaks so it makes the day go by faster when your standing out there all by yourself about to pass out.


Wed was definalty a good night minus some b.s. but anywho... Hung out with Eric, Rachel, Lance and Jimmy and drank ALOT. My tolerance has lowered since the summer a great amount. But it was still alot of fun with all them. We just sat around and drank and watched tv ect. It was all good minus eric being a butthead. Came home around 2 and talked with rachel untill like 4 then crashed. It was a good night. Then in the morning I heard knocking so i went up and it was eric at my door which I didn't expect at all I really thought he was just gonna ignore me untill Saturday. But we made up yesterday, Bible study was amazing and I had a good day




Saturday on the other hand is gonna be a very LONG day, Eric has a turnament in K-zoo so we have to leave around 6:30 and guess whos driving....yup, ME. Then we have to wait untill his belt is up which its one of the last ones then see how long he goes. A very long day then afterwords eric will be very extremely tired so i have to drive again! Yeah i mean the driving sucks but I like going on trips with Eric so i just have to look at it that way.
About this Entry
hide what i have in my eyes
Apr. 20th, 2006 @ 10:48 am (no subject)
Putting my paper off yet again


I'm missing so much this weekend it sucks




Boys are stupid




I'm going up north tomorrow yayay!


I want to work i'm so broke.




I hate it that OAR is on the radio wtf!




I don't want to do this stupid term paper when its sunny out!

I want to play outside but no one to play with.
About this Entry
hide what i have in my eyes
Apr. 14th, 2006 @ 10:07 am Its starting to be a great weekend!
So I'm going to Cat Lake today, i'm exicited its just gonna be Eric's family and I. It'll be good times. Were leaving right after school around 12 I have to hurry down to my house and pack not going to be much because were coming home Tomorrow to have Easter with Eric's g'ma and my family. I'm so happy its becoming nice out i hate cold weather it sucks.  Rain is so much better then snow. Well I'm just rambling on so everyone have a great weekend. 
About this Entry
hide what i have in my eyes
Apr. 9th, 2006 @ 12:48 am (no subject)
I'm crazy in love with you baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
About this Entry
hide what i have in my eyes
Apr. 7th, 2006 @ 12:10 pm (no subject)
I'm so sick of fake people who say one thing just to make ya feel better and mean something completely different.


I hate the way my life is going right now


I miss someone I shouldn't be missing and shouldn't have the feelings I have..........its not good



My body is in pain and all i want to do is crawl in a ball



All the friends i had arn't my friends anymore



I mother F'in HATE wayne state its so fucking yucky.


I miss my Alpha Sigma Tau sisters and family


I wanna go to Georgia to see Rice


I'm broke and I need money



I wanna fit in
I wanna stand out


I don't want to me talked down too by someone i need support from
I dont want to be treated like a little kid just because i'm not old enough to drink








I hate how 21 yr olds put me down and treat me differently.

I hate all the broken promises



I'm just angry at life!!!!!!!!!
About this Entry
hide what i have in my eyes
Mar. 31st, 2006 @ 06:35 pm Mainstream killed the music!!!!
So.......whats up with O.A.R getting played on the radio and now in a music video on MTV, wtf?!?!?!?!?!?!!?



get ready for the rush of the 13 year old girl mafia!




psh, SHAME ON THEM. def the last band i'd think to break under the mainstream preasure.
About this Entry
hide what i have in my eyes
Mar. 29th, 2006 @ 01:38 pm (no subject)
About this Entry
hide what i have in my eyes
Mar. 19th, 2006 @ 10:54 am (no subject)
Eric comes home today YAYAYAYA
About this Entry
hide what i have in my eyes
Mar. 11th, 2006 @ 02:33 pm (no subject)
A whole day of CLEANING is NO FUN!
About this Entry
hide what i have in my eyes
Mar. 6th, 2006 @ 07:31 pm (no subject)
I hate being young and even worse I hate being left out :(
About this Entry
hide what i have in my eyes
Mar. 6th, 2006 @ 11:02 am aMMmmmMMmazing
Yesterday was such an amazing day which both of us needed BADLY....... 

It wasn't the day at the cabin, or the touching church service that took my breath away not even the way he looked in all black against a pure white scenary, it wasn't just one thing. Everything yesterday played a role into making yesterday one of the most special days i've ever had with the love of my life. We started our day as a normal sunday morning a wake up call to make sure we were both awake and then rolling into church, yet yesterday wasn't our normal sunday morning with a message that you'd concider maybe during the church and forget about afterwords NO the message struck home and into everyones hearts that was sitting in the church and all you could hear was the stiffling noses around you, from then on I knew that sunday was going to be an amazing day. 
    We left after church to make the hr and half drive up to Cat Lake, in the middle of the drive we stopped at Mijer to get food because of course i was starving. After what it felt like forever we got up to the cabin and unfortunalty eric forgot the keys, luckly a friend down the road has keys just in case something like this happens which 9 out of 10 times it does. The cabin was absoulty freezing so we turned on every heater imaginable to let the cabin warm up. It was my second time up to the cabin and the millionath time i've spent the day with eric but today something was different, maybe it was the bickering all week that made yesterday seem so special or just being alone for the day who knows all i know is that i felt more love between each other then i have ever felt. 
     I never wanted yesterday to end but in reality it never did end, we may have left the cabin to go back home but the feelings that we have between us still remain and still grow.
About this Entry
hide what i have in my eyes
Mar. 1st, 2006 @ 01:17 pm 7 months later and its still magical.
7 months later i still get those feelings, Entering summer last year i had a mix of feelings, what was going to happen, and one that everyone knew...I didn't want to go back to metro beach i had another summer in front of me with out my best friend and the other one wasn't home either...what to do! Suprisingly enough the summer was great and it was probually one of the best summers of my life, ranking up there with the summer of 2003. I became friends with everyone I worked with and eventually recindled my friendship with Kyle which still remains to this day. I graduated, became friends with someone who i missed dearly again, and i was moving to my "dream" college.....what more could i ask for!
Well more did come, on July 16th my infimous graduation party I had everyone that cared about me there(during the day) later that night I got a phone call from one of the gaurds asking directions and telling me i was coming over...what i didn't know then was that exact person would come over the day after my party cont. a few weeks later untill those days became weeks, and the weeks became months.

I still look at him like I the night when he asked me to go out with him....in amazement. I can't put my finger on it or even if its just one thing that takes my breath away. I looked at him from across the table, he was in his raggidie hat and a polo shirt that he had pulled ruffly off the floor, nothing fantastic, he was looking outside the window daydreaming i'm assuming but there was something about him, something about the way he looked, or the way he presented himself, He turned to look a me, winked and turned his head again to stare at whatever he was looking at. I'm so in love with him yet I still catch my self thinking...why of all people did he choose me, here i am in a rolled out of bed look at 2 in the afternoon, threw on clothes i had at my easiest reach AND hes calling me beautiful?
About this Entry
hide what i have in my eyes
Feb. 27th, 2006 @ 01:59 pm I miss my best friend :(
1. Taken a picture naked? no

2. Taken a shower with someone? yes

3. Made out with a member of the same sex? no

4. Drove a car? everday but i don't like driving

5. Stolen anything? NOPE

6. Interested in someone? YES I LOVE HIM VERY MUCH

7. Been dumped? yes i have.

8. Stole money from a friend? I would never do that

9. Gotten in a car with people you just met? Numerous of times....is that bad lol

10. Been in a fist fight? no i'd probually be the one that got killed

11. Snuck out of your/someones house? No, I just tell em i'm going or i just leave

12. Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back? yes

13. Been arrested? No i haven't, i've only had one encounter with the cops

14. Hugged a stranger? yes

15. Met with a member of the opposite sex somewhere? yes, I met eric somewhere, chris somewhere, you meet everyone somewhere

16. Left your house with out telling your parents? yes

18. Ditched school to do something more fun? LOL YES I HAVE....ahh good times
19. Slept in a bed with a member of the same sex? Yes Nikki and Liz

20. Lost a friend? yes i have

21. Been on a plane? Only to go to FL and VA

22. Been to an island? Nopers

23. Slept in until 3? um a couple days ago lol

24. Love someone or MISS someone right now? Most Def.

25. Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by? Yeah I love lazy summer and spring days i miss summer

26. Made a snow angel? forever ago

27. Played dress up? Last time i dressed up was Halloween lol

28. Cheated while playing a game? No my friends would find out and kill me

29. Been lonely? yes i miss my best friend :(

30. Kissed more than 4 people in one night? NO

31. Been to a club? yes

32. Felt an earthquake? no the farthest i've gone out west is N. Dakota

33. Touched a snake? Now what kinda snake are you talking about ;)

34. Ran a red light? Yes

35. Been suspended from school? Nope i'm a pretty good child :)

37. Been in a car accident? Yes still pissed about it

38. Hated the way you look? 2.5 seconds ago and cont.

39. Made yourself throw up? Pretty much everytime i'm drunk and i have to get sick

40. Crawled through a window? lol no

41. Been lost? yes I flip out when i'm lost

42. Been to the opposite side of the country? Does FL count?

43. Felt like dying? No i love my life right now

44. Cried yourself to sleep? Yes, yesterday and the day before

46. Sang karaoke? Yes a long time ago, I refuse to do it again tho

47. Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? YES YES YES yES

48. Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? nope

49. Caught a snowflake on your tongue? yuppers

50. Kissed in the rain? In the rain, in the snow in the shower, where ever i kiss him its absoulty amazing

51. Sang in the shower? Nope only when i'm swimming lap after lap in the pool

52. Made love on the beach? No, I found love at a beach though.....Metro 05

53. Had a dream that you married someone? Last night

54. Glued your hand to something? Yes embarrising and eric had to help me

55. Got your tongue stuck to a flag pole? NOpe i don't go licking random poles

56. Ever gone to school partially naked? No
57. Been a cheerleader? NEVER EVER EVER!

58. Thought about going gay/Lesbian? Nope

59. Didn't take a shower for a week? Heck no, i'm a swimmer i'm adicted to water

60. Ever too scared to watch scary movies alone? Yes i don' tthink i've ever watched a scary movie alone, I can't even be left alone when i'm watching a scary movie and the person gets up out of the room i get freaked out

61. Played chicken? Long time ago

62. Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? More like thrown in the pool

63. Been told you're hot by a complete stranger? werid but yes,

64. Broken a bone? NOPE,knock on wood (litarly)

65. Been easily amused? lol yes all the time

66. Laugh so hard you cried? oh yeah

67. Mooned/flashed someone? No i have not

68. Cheated on a test? Once in like 6th grade the teacher never noticed though

69. Forgotten someone's name? Yes i do all the time

70. Slept naked? Yes ussually in the summer

71. Done something dumb while drunk? ALL the time

73. Blacked out from drinking? My graduation party...enought said

74. Played a prank on someone? Eric all the time

75. Gone to a late night movie? ONLY WITH LIZ

76. Made love to anything not human? WHAT THE HELL...NO!!!! LOL!!!

77. Failed a class? failed as in a F: Nope I try real hard to pass my class...........tho i'm supposted to be studying right now lol

78. Choked on something you're not supposed to eat? Ummm................lol

79. Smoked pot? No i don't do that stuff

80. Cheated on a girl/boyfriend? never have never will...

81. Did you celebrate the 4th of July? Yeah i think i had a party or Rachel did one of us

82. Thrown strange objects? Yeah watch out i throw shoes if i'm mad

83. Felt like killing someone? No

84. Thought about running away? Yeah a while ago

85. Ran away? Nope

86. Got a piercing? Yeah both my ears...i miss my gages :(

89. Made a parent cry? yeah i have I feel really bad

90. Cried over someone? yes

91. Owned more than 5 sharpies? yes i always lose them

92. Dated someone (same person) more than once? nope

93. Had/Have a dog? Yes I miss my JJ

96. Been in a band? nope!

97. Drank 25 sodas in a day? NO I don't drink pop anymore

98. Broken a CD? no i don't think i have

99. Shot a gun? BB Gun

100. Lied to a cop? Yes i have
About this Entry
hide what i have in my eyes
Feb. 17th, 2006 @ 07:44 am (no subject)
Eww....So i ended up being sick.....ALL day yesterday it was horriable. I had some good plans for yesterday too but i had to cancel them because i was bed ridden, I woke up at 1:27 am the night before last and was up since it was horriable, i couldn't eat or drink anything. Dawn came over and brought me some Verniers, Apple Juice and crackers I love my family there so caring, then Eric came over which was nice cause i was alone all day and it was sad. He took care of me for a bit and then took a nap on my floor he tryed gettting me to relax but my body hurt so bad. This is the second time i had the flu in the past MONTH.


Today I'm going to State to see Matt, Jess, Amanda and Rodger....Matt, Jess, Eric and I are going to the O.A.R concert, i'm feeling up to par my stomach is still a little sore but its not to the point where i'm gonna get sick again. I can't wait, I love OAR AND i always have so much fun up at State... No drinking for me this weekend, i've already had too rough of a night to last me for a while.
About this Entry
hide what i have in my eyes
Feb. 14th, 2006 @ 06:01 pm (no subject)

<3 Happy Valentines Day everyone <3

About this Entry
hide what i have in my eyes
Feb. 5th, 2006 @ 10:26 pm (no subject)
I'm so sick of his shit I put up with it all the time and i'm SICK OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!
About this Entry
hide what i have in my eyes
Jan. 23rd, 2006 @ 02:02 pm (no subject)
haven't updated this thing in a while, man i used to be on this thing everyday posting 2 or 3 times a day now....i'm lucky if i get to post once a month lol.

I love being home but there are some draw backs into being home and away from Ferris. I miss all my friends but i still talk to some of them the ones that i came into ferris knowing BUT my friends like Austin and my sisters i never get to talk to anymore. Looking at pictures of the soroity makes me really depressed they were the only reason why i would have stayed up there and i left yes i do sometimes regret my decsion.

Its really depressing seeing everyone in letters and happy and together, I spent my whole semester with those girls and some of them grew into really good friends of mine. I really miss the feeling of having those people back me up or only a second away with a door always open and open arms. They supported me so much and I left. I would probually change my decision if i had to do it again, yeah i mean i'm happy here i have my family and Eric but i don't have the same feelings like i did when i was up at ferris. If i would have stayed at Ferris i know practically what my life would have been....with my soroity but it isn't and everytime i look back on it i smile because i got the chance to experience something that not a lot of girls get to do but at the same time i cry because i wouldn't have left.
About this Entry
hide what i have in my eyes